If you’re in or coming out of a relationship with a difficult, controlling person, in this Tip Talk episode psychologist Dr. Jennifer Degler has ten tips to help handle emotional manipulation and its after effects. It’s time to quit trying to help and change the emotionally manipulative person. Instead, you can focus on developing your emotional manipulation detection and management skills. You can download a free PDF of this Top Ten Tips list. 

The book she mentions is No More Christian Nice Girl: When Just Being Nice–Instead of Good–Hurts You, Your Family, and Your Friends. It’s available here or in bookstores or from an online retailer.

“Be deaf to what people say and listen to what they do. The truth about people is found in their actions, not their words.”

“It’s not your job to fix emotionally manipulative people. Your job is to maintain your safety and well-being.”

“If you feel worse about yourself or increasingly unclear about who you are after spending time with someone, you are likely being emotionally manipulated.” 

“Emotional manipulation is when you unfairly or deceptively influence, control, exploit, abuse, or coerce another person or situation for your own personal gain while disregarding the needs of the person or situation you are manipulating.”