What is defeating you sexually? Wives can be defeated by:

• Lack of energy for sex: “I’m just too tired. Maybe once the kids are older and out of the house, I’ll have more energy for sex.”
• Simmering resentment toward your husband: “I’m still mad at him for ______, _____, and ______, so he can forget about sex until he figures out what I’m mad about and what he should do about it.”
• Negative thoughts about your body: “My _______ is too big/small so I don’t feel sexy.”
• Fear of appearing silly or inadequate : “My husband will laugh or I’ll feel uncomfortable if I try something new in the bedroom.”
• Perfectionism: “I was planning on having sex today but then _______ happened. Now it’s all ruined so forget the whole thing.”

February brings Valentine’s Day—the perfect day for you to step out of your sexual comfort zone and experience victory in your bedroom. Aren’t you tired of defeat, of being robbed of the passionate intimacy God has planned for your marriage?

For wives, victory in the bedroom starts with our mindset. We have to make up our minds that we will no longer be controlled by defeatist thoughts about sex. We will no longer let fear or perfectionism squelch our sexual desire. If we can talk ourselves out of enjoying sex, then we can talk ourselves right back into it.

What defeats you sexually? What tips do you have for experiencing victory in the bedroom?